It's been awhile.

I haven't been writing for a while. It's been awhile. I read my old post and I sounded pathetic. Those phases are over.

Life is still not perfect but I have achieved what I was longing for 3 years ago.

I have my MBA degree now and to one of UK's best business school at that, at Warwick Business School. I didn't graduate with distinction but I managed to graduate with merit.

My son is now 7 years old. Still acting like a baby with me but he's growing up to be a smart individual. There's still some growth in character that needs to happen but he makes me happy and I love him so.

I have a job now in a trust company. It's nice, flexible and I am not so stressed that's why I was able to do my MBA.

The only thing I can complain about is money. Until now, I have no savings and have lots of loans. I wish I could repay all of them quick but there is still 6 years to go. So this one is making me worried.

I am also worried of my job that I am not growing because things are too easy for me. I am not learning anything new, I am not challenged enough.  But maybe it's a good thing because I have an opportunity to channel my knowledge to other ventures like opening a new business. But what of it? What can I do?

Decision

Sometimes I can't help but mull over my decision, not because I am suffering the consequences but because I am a Filipino. Being a Filipino, I was supposed to be resilient. A lot of educated Filipinos go abroad and do menial tasks, they do these for many years and they are ok with them as long as they're earning money. Compared to them, my situation was not worse, being a manager for 5 years without any promotion. As a Filipino, I could have just accepted my situation, continued to work hard and hoped for the best, I was earning anyway. But no, I chose not to settle. Maybe because, I was exposed to my non-Filipino (Western) friends/colleagues who all have at least a masters degree in their CV, who all have a feeling of self-entitlement. Was it wrong to be like them, to think that I am worth much more, I could be much more? Should I just "remain a Filipino" and stayed?

10 years

I feel like I wasted 10 years of my life to a Firm whom I love so much but who never loved me that much. Parang magbf lng na you have to break up with coz you do not see further growth anymore in the relationship. Kasi you are never enough, you'll always be lacking.

earthquake

may lindol na nman sa pinas..sana ok lng sila. Lord, help them and strengthen them sustain them. I love you Jesus!

Bright future

how could i ever explain my career path.. ganun pala nila viniview ung cv ko..at least alam ko, i can do something about it..i can explain..
Lord, i pray tawagan nila ako..i want to have the chance..and i pray that ako piliin nila..thank you for the people who vouched for me.
Lord, i am so scared..i want a bright future..please help me.
Pagod na ko magantay..sometimes I just want to give up..But, I can't...I'm resting for awhile, but I am not giving up. I can't give up. Please give me the strength Lord. Please grant me favor in their eyes. I need you.. I need you more than ever.. I want to have my life back.
I also pray na tanggapin ako sa Warwick..na makagraduate ako
Please straighten my life. Please Lord, let me know of your plans for me para un ang gawin ko at di ako mahirapan.. pagod na ko. Help me Lord

ang pagkatalo

up to now, i couldn't get over the fact that my alma mater got lost in the game.. ang sakit sakit..nasaktan ako di dahil alma mater ko nga..masakit kc ayun na abot kamay na natalo pa..nasasaktan ako para k jeric teng kc last year na nya and he really wanted it.. at masakit kasi naalala ko na nman ung pagkatalo sa buhay ko..
my first heartbreak..ung pagka-tie sa cheering..ung pagkatalo sa pope leo na first time sa history ng jpia at ako ang president..ung di ko pagtanggap sa mga gsto kong work..ung di ako napromote..
at ngayon andito na nman ako sa stage ng buhay ko na naghahanap ulit ng lugar..natatakot ako kung san ako mapupunta, kung san ako dadalhin ng agos ng buhay..
pero lahat nman ng pagkatalo ko nalampasan ko pero pag naaalala ko, i remember the pain but not really the reason why i was in pain..and that pain, ang bagay na ayaw na ayaw kong nararamdaman..
i hate losing. gusto ko laging success.. pero wala, ganyan  ang buhay, you win some, you lose some..
we just have to be strong and have faith..